I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
