he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
