nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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