she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
