We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
