Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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