To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
