you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
