id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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