help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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