The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
