either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
