I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My bed smells like the plague
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
