I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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