okay pat passed out under dana's car
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize