yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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