You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
