She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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