I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
