I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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