This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
