everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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