My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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