ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize