I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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