I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
