Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Can I color on your dick again?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize