Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
