I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
