This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
