Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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