I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize