Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
