Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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