Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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