Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
