turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
