dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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