They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
