i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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