i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
