marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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