worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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