so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
