he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
