There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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