He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
