Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize