I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My vagina just clenched in fear
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
