PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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