Whod you bang
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
