I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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