I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he shaved USA in his pubs
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
