Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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