So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
