he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
