I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
