About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
