Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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