I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
