wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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