Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
